Today, was turning out to be a great day but of course that always has to change for me. I was at afterschool senior boys volleyball practice working my way through it being a mediocre player I struggle to keep up. We were almost done practice working our way through a few drills then I fucked up. Badly. [If you don't play volleyball this will be jibberish]

I went up to save a badly set pass to me and tried to salvage it with a tip. I failed miserably and fell beneath the net at least a foot onto the opposing teams side crushing the blocker and injuring his knee...

With my luck this only gets worse. The guy I injured already hates my guts and made a big deal out of it swearing and yelling in pain crouching on the floor.. Everyone just kind of stares at him then at me.. all I can think of is "Oh FUCK what have I done..." Plus the whole Girls team was practicing in the court beside us and couldn't help but stop and stare.. Because this guys is our star hitter and the season is just starting. The coach was concerned for him but also acknowledge that it was an accident but still you could tell she was pretty much concerned for the season and is probably mad at me.

This whole fucking thing pretty much destroyed the rest of practice everyone was scattered and just standing around so we starting doing serves.. I was SO FUCKING Angry I could barely control myself. I was actually mad that I could not express it without breaking my fist.. so I wailed on a volleyball and it SMASHED up on the opposite basketball hoop shaking it around violently and then one of our graduated helpers was like "..shitt..." because in practice I show no power in any hits whatsoever...

I loathe myself...